Tag Archives: would you fuck jennifer lopez

Three Assholes Talking: RandomEsq, Editor, and NambyPamby.

6 May

I was on gchat and I asked Editor and NambyPamby the same question:

Would you fuck Jennifer Lopez?

Let’s see how this goes.

dudeJo

EDITOR

RE: Would you fuck Jennifer Lopez?

Editor: J-Lo? hmmm, i mean, right NOW?  yes, because, like, I wouldn’t turn it down. But I need more. What’s the context here?

RE: WHAT THE FUCK.

Editor: Dude.

RE: I MEAN SERIOUSLY?

Editor: j-lo. well. Give me the context. You mean as opposed to NOT fucking J-LO if I had the chance?

RE: YOU IS NAKED IN A ROOM. WITH JLO.

Editor: she’s not disease riddled, right?

RE: AND SHE WANT TO FUCK. THERE’S YOUR CONTEXT.

Editor: then yes. J-Lo circa 1998. J-Lo circa 2011 is old and has kids. and has been fucking what’s his name. her husband. marc antony.

RE: I’m fucking dying laughing.

Editor: Like…Pre-Affleck J-Lo? Totes.

RE: Lemme get this straight. You might turn down J-Lo cause some other ugly dick been in her?

Editor: fine. yes. i’d bang j-lo.

THE NAMBY PAMBY

RE: Would you fuck Jennifer Lopez?

NP: Probably? I mean, there are a lot of factors to consider. like, would that be like sticking certain parts of my body into a garbage disposal/blender

RE: WTF.

NP: she is attractive. and i am presently operating under the “beggars cannot be choosers” mantra at the moment. so. THERE.

RE: JESUS.

NP: WILL SHE LOVE ME BACK. CAN I BE THE SMALL SPOON

RE: I can’t even look at you, man. Are you fucking J-Lo or are you being a mangina? *STARE*

NP: OH THE DEATH ST…AHHHHH  AHHHH NOOOOOOOOO!

RE: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Like, seriously, she’s in a room naked. wants you.  YOU WOULD TURN HER DOWN?

NP: Clearly this will never happen. but probably not.

RE: You are such an asshole. I’m laughing so hard. LISTEN, ASSHOLE. I am here to TELL YOU that if you were in a room with your boxers down  and JLO grabbed hold, YOU WOULD NOT TURN IT DOWN. I mean, it could be fucking JOE from FACTS OF LIFE and you might be okay with that shit. SO LET ME ASK YOU ONCE AGAIN, BROTHER. WOULD YOU FUCK JLO?

NP: this is Jenny from the Block, right?

RE: YES.

NP: I mean, she’s married.

RE: I’m going to slug you. Like, straight up fucking slug you. YES OR NO.

NP: yeah, probably.

LEGALLY FABULOUS

So, then I decided to share this conversation with Legally Fabulous.

RE: Get a load of this shit. I’m sending you two conversations.

<Pause while Legally Fabulous reads the conversation>

LF: god. they’re such retards.

RE: Right? listen up, white boy, you’d let her WRECK YOU. but for some reason, it cracks me the fuck up that those two idiots were like: “well, tell me more.” I mean, REALLY? Do you need more?

LF: lol. right. like if you asked me “would you fuck Justin Timberlake?” “yes.” the end. THERE ARE NO FACTORS TO CONSIDER.

RE: THANK YOU.

CONCLUSION

Those two assholes would fuck J-L0.

I’d fuck J-Lo.

Legally Fab would fuck Justin Timberlake.

Any questions?

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